Forgiving Yourself

Stop replaying negative situations from your past over and over again in your mind.

Stop being a hostage to your past by reliving and over analysing your mistakes.

Don’t keep reminding yourself of the ‘could have’, ‘should have’ ‘would have’ events in your life.






Me, myself and God

The other day, I was travelling to the airport to pick up my son and my two grand daughters. I checked the flight time, the traffic and weather so that I could leave in plenty of time in case of unforeseen events.

I LIKE TO BE ON TIME. I hate being late for anything, and I hate when others are late for me.

20 minutes into the drive I saw the motorway warning that there had been a crash at the next junction and there was a delay of 10 minutes. Instantly I sent up a prayer for those involved, hoping that nobody was hurt or worse still dead. The traffic suddenly came to a stand still. This was the start of the delay. I wasn’t too bothered, I had left in plenty of time and this was ”the unforeseen event”. I glanced at the cars on each side of me and I got to thinking, ”how many of the drivers prayed for the people involved in the accident?? Did anyone else besides me do it?? Maybe their  prayer was for the traffic to move, or that they wouldn’t be late for work? but how many took the time to pray for someone else.

That got me adding another prayer to keep me safe on the remaining journey that was ahead of me, then I added for good measure that my kids, grandchildren, friends and anyone who knows me to be kept safe too. And so started my chat with the man above.

My friends will tell you I have epic chats with him at times, and this was just another chat.

Me: Good morning God, it’s me again. Sorry that I didn’t say good morning earlier(I usually say it as soon as I wake up). I know I am always asking for things from you, and today is the same. Keep the kids safe, help them today, you know where and how they need help, you know which one needs a light bulb moment so I won’t go through the list because you already know…’re God after all.

Keep the people in the accident safe too and if I’m the only one praying for them at least they have someone …right??If any of them died  take their souls to heaven. Help their families in the coming months with the hard time ahead .

Do you ever get exasperated God?? with your family, I mean mankind, we are your family, and I can’t imagine what you must think when you look down and see the carry on of us all. Don’t you ever despair at it all?? I know I do with my lot, and compared to you I shouldn’t complain at all. I wonder does anyone else think of you like this or am I the right side of a padded cell:) But someone should be mindful of your feelings, sometimes I think my lot forget I have feelings and I am just a means to an end. That’s why I’m always looking for your help, always asking questions, always looking to you for answers, some of which I should remind you that you haven’t answered yet. Ohh… sorry God, should I be talking to you like this, because you are God.

Hang on the traffic is moving…..hell just a few feet, the accident must be serious. How do you decide God, who lives , who dies, who survives something terrible and who doesn’t. Sometimes I wish I could talk to you face to face and ask all the questions that only you can answer…..but then I think… I would be dead if that happened and I’m hoping I’m on  the end of any list you have regarding that. Do you have lists?? you know everything so I don’t suppose you do really, you don’t need one.

I look at the drivers on either side of me again, different people now, looking fed up, one is on the phone the other has his head cradled in his hand looking like he will fall asleep if the traffic doesn’t move soon. God, don’t let him fall asleep or I will never get to the airport on time.

The traffic moves slowly again, I can’t see anything only cars, the accident must be further up, that means I am way back , the clock is ticking, I still have time. What’s happening that the traffic is so slow, I hope it’s not a pile-up. I bet none of those people thought this would happen to them today.

On a different note God, I know I’m always asking you to put someone nice in my life, and I’m asking this a long time now , but can I ask that you make it sooner rather than later. Good things come to those who wait!!! but you don’t say how long the wait is!!!

I also know ”ask and you shall receive” and I know it’s always when the time is right, and all that , BUT and you already know this…you need to give me the heads up , coz I am really stupid when it comes to seeing signs.

Now I feel guilty for asking for something for myself, when someone could be dying on the road ahead. Is that why you don’t answer this particular prayer, I always ”slip” it into other prayers.

Well I put it out there again, and I will wait. Traffic moving a bit better now still no sign of what’s  causing the delay, slowly, slowly , but at least we are moving now.

Sorry for the bad language God, but I just hate when those smart asses fly up the inside lane to get ahead and then expect to be let into the lane where we have all been patiently waiting…it boils my blood. Why isn’t there a policeman at the end of that lane and hold them all till the rest of the traffic goes. That would teach them , but of course that would be the fair thing to do, and I let one of them go ahead of me. That’s my good deed for the  day ok!!!

The traffic starts to build up speed now and I can see the red and blue flashing lights ahead. The scene has all but been cleared away and there are hardly any signs that there was an accident at all. I look at the time and realise I have been chatting to you for an hour. Well thank you God for your company, it passed quickly and I enjoyed our chat. I have to fly now so I’m not late , but I’m sure there are loads waiting to chat and loads a lot worse off than me, so have a good day and I will have my usual chat with you at bedtime. By the way, don’t forget the nice man and a lotto win would be great too. Continue reading

Infectious smiling


Smiling is infectious,

You catch it like the flu.

When someone smiled at my today, I started smiling too.

I walked around the  corner and someone saw me grin.

When he smiled I realised, I’d passed it on to him.

I thought about the smile, then realised it’s worth.

A single  smile like mine could travel round the earth.

So if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected.

Start an epidemic and get the World infected.

                                                               Spike Milligan

You’re smiling now…aren’t you!!!!


Getting back in the saddle!!!

Almost a year ago I decided to come back home, quit my job as Hotel Manager and be nearer my family. It wasn’t a decision I made easily. I had become accustomed to warmer climate,a foreign language, working 12+ hours everyday with one free day. But, I loved it….I revelled in the excitement of new guests, every day being different, non stop holiday music, smiling faces and a pace that kept everyone’s weight low….but I loved it.

The comradery, the pressure, the constant checking and controlling staff, food, chefs and everything in between while running a great hotel  was my life , so you can imagine the abrupt stop I came to when I came home.

It’s ok I told myself, you’ll get used to it, it is what you want after all. I got busy getting to know everyone even better than I had, places that had changed or had completely gone, familiarising myself with a social system I had long forgotten. It took a lot less time then I had imagined. So next on the list (one of the many ”to do” lists I had), find somewhere to live….easy…, it turned out to be  a nightmare. The housing system or lack of it leaves a lot to be desired, and one office doesn’t know what the others are doing, so there is a constant miscommunication. Files being misplaced, application forms being lost, or so they said, never the same person dealing with the issue , so there is an irritating repetition of what you are looking for and your general information. Having got through it all, there is a waiting list to actually go on a waiting list!!! I’m beginning  to ask myself if this really is a good idea.

Anyway to cut a very long story short, I am now in my new home albeit a rented one, but it’s mine and I’m starting to settle down. Thoughts of what next keep creeping into my mind. I decided to start this blog by giving myself 1 year to decide what to do, hence the name of the blog:)

I travelled some and write about things important to me in the hopes to distress and maybe it would be a good read for some people.

The 365 days are almost up, it went faster than I thought it would and I’m not sure I achieved what I set out to, but I do know that I NEED TO WORK, not for financial reasons, although the money side is important. I have realised in this time that I am a people person, I am a workaholic, my brain needs stimulation, I like organising people and things, I love being a boss and I love to see staff exceed their own expectations, as well as the guests. I love watching people improve and get excited about their day, reaching for promotions and targets. Yes, I am a workaholic. But, you have to be passionate about it.

I want to share with people, my knowledge, my skills, and hopefully my work ethics, because for me I lead by example. They say if you’re away from the tourism business too long you miss out, so it’s time to get back in the saddle, but here’s where the dilemma lies, to do what I love and do it well only the same as before just in my home country or change careers and do something completely different and have more time on my hands. It’s one of those things that you wish someone would decide for you but you know nobody can, and even if someone could would I agree with their decision 🙂

A recent article I read said from ages 0-18 is the easy time in your life, from 20 – 65 we work and from 65 on is a bonus. So why not do what you love to do in your working years. I don’t just want to work for the sake of working, doing something I don’t particularly like  or from pay cheque to pay cheque.

Getting back in the saddle isn’t as easy as it’s made out to be, do you get back in your old familiar saddle or do you go for the new one even if it’s on a smaller horse:))

thoughts and advice would be gratefully accepted.

Chat soon x


Does your name suit you??

Have you ever thought about your name?? Why was I given this name? Was there a special meaning to it, or was it a name your parents just liked and it suited your surname.

I have often wondered why my mother chose my name for me. I know I was named after my uncle, my mother’s youngest brother and also after  Saint Gerard (Patron saint of expectant mothers) but  I think that was it. Over the years I have often thought to ask my mother was there another reason she chose the name for me, but I never got around to it. Now, it’s too late to ask and I really wonder was it as simple as just naming me after my uncle. In Ireland you had to be named after a saint or at the very least have a saint’s name as your second name. I wish there was a great story behind the reason for my naming but that was taken to the grave with my mother. So, I decided to find out about my name and see if it fitted me. New parents will often say ”he/she doesn’t look like a ……….”  Did I look like a Geraldine??What does a Geraldine look like 🙂

My name originates in Germany and is the feminine of Gerard. Incidentally, I should have been baptised GeraRdine but the priest misread it as Geraldine so does my name really fit me?? The name means ”Ruler with the spear” and as I researched it more I discovered that the name really does suit me, the characteristics pertaining to the name is me!!! Strong in mind and ethics, a natural leader, good communicator, omg this was really me, I was starting to think that maybe there is something in this naming business.

Other traits, good and bad described to a tee. Things like workaholic, stubborn, all fit me but how can my mother have known that the name would suit me so well. It’s like the chicken and egg …..did I look like a Geraldine , did my mother instinctively know what I would be like when she looked at me for the first time. How could she have known ? is it a motherly instinct , that come automatically when the baby arrives.

How did I know the names for my own children.!! When I looked at my first-born the name just came to me, my daughters names had been decided and then changed once they arrived.

In recent times , especially with celebrities the names of their children seem to be randomly chosen and I wonder in years to come will they wonder how the name was chosen…will there be a place to check out what the name means? will the name suit them too ….North……Blue……Willow, Pixie Coal dust etc, I wonder will the meaning of the name reflect the person, that will be interesting to see.

For me when my children came , I knew what their names should be, don’t ask me how. Looking back I did choose good names(is that bias). Out of curiosity I looked up the meanings and each name and the characteristics are exact. I also looked up the names I had picked for my daughters before they were born and surprise , surprise the names didn’t suit them at all , the character traits were really so wrong, so it was a good idea that I  changed the names.  Could it be that  we grow into our name , by some cosmic or Divine interception/ intervention. I wonder if I had stuck with the original names for my girls would they have turned out differently or their character any different or would they be as they  now regardless of their name??

Find out about your name …..see if it suits you, were your parents correct with your name.

Why did you give your child their name……..would love to get some feed back on this .

Chat again soon x



Sometimes late at night……

She remembers when she was a new mother, her heart almost bursting with love, watching her beautiful little girl sleeping. She wondered what would she grow up like. What would she do with her life. Looking at the angelic face she knew the world was/would be her oyster. At times , especially when she was sleeping or if she was sick she would creep in to make sure she was ok…still breathing. She was always ok, sleeping peacefully, dreaming dreams, unaware of the twists and turns  her life would take, or the path she would go down.

Many years have gone by, she grew up to be a beautiful girl, she’s a head full of brains people said about her. She was beautiful inside and out. She had a kind heart too. Soon there  would  be grand children. Her girl would have her own kids and she wouldn’t notice the years flying by. She wouldn’t notice her little girl’s  inner torment that she kept so well hidden from everyone. She noticed her slim build, “Victoria Beckham is the same as me ” was what she would say to explain her weight loss. She ran everywhere, always on the go, always somewhere to be , someone to see. “I burn more calories than I put into my body she would say  matter of factly,  and that  was true. She had a fast metabolism, she didn’t eat a lot, never had time, or ate at work. She believed her because  it was possible. She wanted to believe her beautiful daughter was ok, she wanted to believe that what she was telling her was true , but, somewhere deep. deep down in the pit of her stomach she knew she was being lied to. She wanted to ask, she could almost guess the answers but was so afraid that if she was told the truth it would be so bad that she might not be stand the pain it would inevitably cause.

And so now, too many years have gone by, unspoken words, sometimes harsh words, sometimes screaming to be heard words, sometimes speaking softly and gently to her , hoping she would understand the pain the family and  her kids  had suffered by her decisions. Wanting more than anything to have that small girl back, the one with the bright eyes, the big smile , the head full of brains, but she was lost such a long time ago, she wasn’t sure she would ever have that girl back again.

The full circle had come around. She remembers when she was a new mother, watching her beautiful girl sleeping, only now her outer beauty was fading but her inner beauty was still there and sometimes she got a glimmer of it. And just like when she was a little girl, she creeps in to watch her sleeping, to check she is ok, still breathing. She is ok, she’s not always ok, sometimes the bright eyed girl comes through, shining a light at the end of a long tunnel. Now in the other bedroom, lying awake listening to her breathing, shallow breaths, then a long one . She’s ok, she is still breathing, and if she’s breathing she is still alive. Alive to live another day. Maybe tomorrow would be the day her beautiful daughter would make the decision. The one that has been so hard to make, the one that would change her life and put her back on the right path, the one that would give her back to her family. Maybe tomorrow would be the day she says goodbye to her demons  for good.


via Daily Prompt: Perfume

We all like to smell nice, men and women alike. It’s part of a daily  ritual for some of us, for others its only for a special occasion and others wouldn’t go out without the door with spraying their fav  scent on.

Introduced by the ancient civilizations, to enhance with aromatic oils and  fragrances what the human body couldn’t make naturally, dabbed onto the pulse points (behind the ears, at the wrists, behind the knees and at the back of the neck)so  the  heat of the body releases the fragrance slowly.  I know what you are thinking, I did the same……my mam WAS telling the truth about where to put perfume!!! I always thought she made that up in an effort to stop my eagerness to apply perfume from head to toe.

Perfume making  has evolved into a billion dollar industry today. We all get caught and pulled in by the advertisements by our favourite movie star, favourite singer or football player. The carefully choreographed adverts, designed to stimulate our  imagination into thinking if we buy the particular product we can have, can be, achieve what the ”star” has, we can get the gorgeous man/woman.  It works, we go out and buy the fragrance, not only to smell nice but to get that feeling of luxury, opulence and desirability, but for all the other enticements too. The  bottle it comes in, the colour , the packaging, all these things are cleverly thought out , tested and designed to catch us. And we like to be caught. Don’t you just love when someone says ”ohh you smell nice, what is your perfume?” And don’t you love it , when you can say it’s the latest on the market, on trend and by your favourite celebrity. Job done!!! Now don’t get me wrong I am guilty too. Just like Kim Kardashian I love/ collect perfume bottles and the prettier the better. They are proudly displayed in my bathroom .The odd time I stand and look at them and think, get rid of the bloody dust collectors, not worth a penny but nice to look at and when visitors use my loo it makes a good conversation topic (when they come out of course)!!  so they stay put. One day I will collect them all and bin them but for now I remember events I wore a certain perfume at, which ones were gifted to me , if I bought it in a foreign country or in a duty-free while on my travels.

So I personally get a lot more from my perfume experience, I smell great, I get feel good factor, I have the memory behind the perfume be it good or bad and I know if I am near anyone at least I am smelling lovely 🙂




Coming home


During your time abroad and that can be a long or short  time away, you claim your nationality at every chance, Football matches, traditional songs, stories of your country and how great it is and how green it is. How brilliant the people are, how great the food is, the beer and the whiskey. Your proud of you heritage and  people know about it.

So,what happens when you come home ? You’ve been living overseas for a long time and you decide it’s time. Time to go home.    Only you  discover, that the place is not the same. Your memory of home is not the same as the reality. You thought you’d fit right back in …’s your own country after all, your friends, your family are all there, why wouldn’t you just slip back into things?? But the stark reality hits you slowly, you brush off the ”odd” feeling as getting used to things. You and everyone else tells you  to ” give yourself a chance” , everything is different, the weather, the food  , the way of life. You realize that you only connect with people in the past tense.

People have moved on, things have changed, the health system, you can’t understand. How can the country have such a crap system with such a small population, while huge countries have a great system and it works. Why don’t the government learn from them?  The job situation, is unbelievable.  You have never been out of work before, so you have to get in on the system , but you find you have to jump through hoops to even prove you are who you say you are. The unemployment system doesn’t  entice people to get a job. Help with housing, fuel, medical cards, make it easy for  the ordinary ”joe soap” who would be on an  average wage to be  better off  staying at home.  But what if you want to work? want to contribute? Where are all the jobs that  people told you were available? The country is supposed to be on the up!!!!

irish food         untitled Continue reading

The oasis in the Midlands of Ireland

I had the pleasure of staying in the Mullingar Park Hotel on Bank holiday Monday. My daughter chose the hotel as a surprise for me. I had known about this hotel for a long time and it’s one of those places that  you keep meaning to visit but somehow never get around to. So I was excited to see what the hotel had to offer. Located just off the N4 and only an hour from Dublin this really is the midlands. Surrounded by lush green land and trees.

On arrival, I was  greeted by smiling and  polite reception staff. The foyer is large , bright and dominated by a beautiful chandelier and a huge display of fresh flowers. Immediately you can feel yourself relaxing in the calm atmosphere of the hotel. My check – in was quick but professional with all the information I needed. The room, on the first floor was a good size, pristine and had everything a traveller would need. As well as a good sized flat screen TV and the usual room amenities, there was an iron and ironing board,  lovely bathroom toiletries including soap by Paul Costello and of course free WiFi.

I had a reflexology treatment booked for 3:30 , so after  a quick look around I headed to the Leisure Centre. While I was filling out the health check form I had a quick glance around the pool area. Beautiful pool with Jacuzzi and also a sauna and steam room are open everyday for residents and non-residents alike. My treatment was with Linda , who was super friendly and explained what the procedure was as she brought me up to the treatment room. Forty five minutes later I left the treatment room walking on clouds and with a full body exfoliating treatment booked for the next day.

It is better to book a treatment in advance.  There are lots of them to choose from and  Linda  can be contacted via the hotel.

There are  fresh flower arrangements all around the hotel with beautiful orchids and lilies, bringing the outside in. Tall glass cabinets displaying local designers works are available for sale and showcase the talent of the area.

After a short rest in my room and a quick clothes change I went down to the Terrace Restaurant for dinner. There was a fixed 3 course menu and also an A la Carte menu to choose from. I went for the fixed menu, and there was three choices for starter and main course. The dessert of the day and tea or coffee is all included in the 37.50 € price. I had a delicious chicken Caesar salad with house dressing with a selection of fresh breads. The main course for me  was spinach and ricotta ravioli served with mash and vegetables(which seemed a bit strange), but delicious none the less, a glass of house sauvignon blanc was just the right compliment to the pasta. I almost didn’t have dessert, until, that is, I saw the pear frangipane with cream and ice cream on the dessert menu. With my wine  finished and dessert gone there was nothing left but to sit back and enjoy a fluffy latte while my food digested. Dinner is served till 9:30pm. The Courtyard Lounge or the Horse Shoe Bar are ideal for light lunches or  relaxing  with  after dinner drinks.

I had a wonderful nights sleep in a comfy queen bed with crisp white linen and luxurious duvet and pillows. Breakfast, also served in the Terrace restaurant is an open buffet. There is something for everyone from cereals, to fresh fruit salad with yoghurt to a delicious full Irish, with toast and real Irish butter. For those of us with a sweet tooth there is creamy porridge with honey or muffins, croissants and scones. A selection of teas, coffees, juices and water is also on offer.

At 10:30, I made my way to the Leisure centre for my exfoliating treatment. I was so excited to have this, as having travelled for the last 6 months in various temperatures my skin really needed some TLC.  The package includes the full body exfoliation and  head and shoulder massage. It was Heaven,  and a treatment everybody should have as often as possible, not just for good body health but for the feel good factor that it evokes.

Overall this 4 star hotel offers great value for money, with excellent knowledgeable staff, pristine rooms and fresh, tidy  general areas, good food, nice atmosphere and beautiful location. It really is an oasis in the Midlands.