”Life goes on” they say, ”things will never be the same normal again” they say, ”we have to learn to live with Covid 19 as best we can” they say.

So if we are to follow this advice and shop locally, give work to locals, keep the money in the country , then why the hell is it so hard to get anyone to do anything ?

Everyone is now trying to get back to some kind of normality, lock down was lifted and the days of staying indoors has now eased off and we can breath a little easier.

Time to do some positive things in the house ,on a budget but never the less I need a handyman.

With so many people out of work now, or so we are led to believe, getting a handyman can’t be that hard surely.

WRONG!!!!!

Tilers,electricians, plumbers are all employed somewhere, doing job for someone, with no time to spare, fully booked up for weeks on end, even someone to put up a shelf cannot be found!!!! So where is all the money coming from, how are there so many jobs available and where are all the trades people?? and why are we being told there is no work, no money and we are almost economically finished??

If you are lucky enough to actually find a trades person, you then have to work out a time that suits just to have a look at what needs doing. Then it’s deciding when then job can be done, in between the ”other” jobs that are being done at the time. Once that’s figured out the question of the price has to be worked out… and believe me nothing comes cheap, not even the smallest of jobs that take the least time.

I have had electricians, tilers, plumbers, stair fitters, gardeners, all say they want the job , but the amount of times call outs have been cancelled, changed, and even rearranged because they have ” too much on” is unreal and leaves me frustrated, annoyed and unmotivated to get anything done!!

So while I sit here and write this post I am still waiting , only now it seems we are going into phase 4 till December 1st!!!!

Maybe, I will youtube everything and figure out how to do it myself. Save money, keep it local (in my pocket) give work to locals (me) and avoid stress, and mental agrivation.

Here’s to phase 4, learning some new skills, trying staying positive and even saving money 🙂

Next rant to follow soon. x

Just when you think you can breathe out and relax and admire the good job that you did with your  now  adult children…BAM!!!!!

One of them tells you they are moving back home. AAAAHHHHHH.

While it’s always nice to have family to stay it can be quiet daunting to have them move back in. So, do you say no and risk falling out with them or do you bite the bullet and say yes and open the doors. Not wanting to appear unwilling to help, avoiding certain questions and setting a deadline can prove to be a fatal mistake.

The ” family home” reverts to the place where everything is done by mum. No money for your keep  is required as the Bank of Mum has also opened for business again. Laundry, cooking and cleaning is all included. The difference is, the now ” adult” thinks that rules don’t apply anymore. So coming and going whenever is ok, eating the whole weeks shopping in 2 days is also ok. Lifts here and there, the loan of your car without asking if you need it,taking over the tv remote control, watching You tube on full volume while you try and watch your favourite programme, what have you let yourself in for?!!!

Asking for advice from friends is futile, some will tell you “are you crazy, your job is done as soon as they turn 18”. Others will remind you “no matter how old they are they are still your children” While the friends who don’t want to get involved simply tell you”do what’s best for you”. But, what is best for you, what should you do, how do you tell your grown up child that there is no room at the inn!!

When do you put yourself first? When do your dreams matter, do you forfeit your time to appease your child/children. Why do we feel guilty when we say no or enough is enough? Is this sense of entitlement from this generation a result of our bad parenting? Did we do too much for too long and now when they still expect you to put your life on hold why do we complain?

They say you don’t get a “how to manual” when you become a parent, that things come naturally, and of course they do. However, you sure as hell could use one when they get older because things don’t come naturally, in fact there are times when you look back at the baby years and wish it could all be as easy as it was then 🙂

I look over from my desk at the young man oblivious to his mothers writings and rantings. Oblivious to the fact that no matter what he does I will support him 100%. Try as always to give sound advice even if it falls on deaf ears, continue to help emotionally and financially until he can find his feet ….again.

Maybe I can write the “how to manual for your adult kids”. Now’ there’s a thought 🙂

2018….. unlike most people I am not relieved that it’s over but rather looking back at what was and how to make 2019 better.

Forget the New Year resolutions and promising a complete 360 turn in everything you do,eat,wear, weigh,and the list goes on but the actual doing never lasts more than a month for most of us anyway.

In an effort to make 2019 better I am looking back on the highs and lows of 2018,and hopefully learn something from it all, so here goes 🙂

And in no particular order, a new addition came to our family 30th November weighing in at 8lb 5ozs a beautiful grandson. Bringing ever closer the fact that with 14 grand children I have to face the fact that age really is catching up with me.

I went back to work for my old employer which was brilliant, I am a workaholic but it keeps me young at heart and mentally healthy. I bought a little car just to go from A to B. Living in the countryside you need a car to get to the nearest shopping centre which is only 25 miles away but one hell of a walk . Joined an art class and learned to use oils and acrylics and made some new friends. Caught up on my reading, something I had neglected for almost a year. Gave up on the idea to join a gym. I gave myself 6 months to do it but realised quickly that it was never going to happen so May 1st I crossed it off the “to do list”. Eat healthier, loose weight and various other crazy notions that I had at the beginning of the year also got crossed off the list that very same day.

In an effort to stay in Ireland,looking for jobs and getting interviews was easy, however, the right job never came along. My old boss realised I was great and offered me a better job with the company, which I snapped up immediately. The only draw back was I had to go abroad for it…….well someone has to 🙂

My son, his partner and their 3 kids moved in temporarily, that’s a whole other blog for another day. A girls holiday in Fuerteventura proved that tiaras, tantrums, and strong opinions do not a great holiday make 🙂

On a lighter note 2018 saw the complete obliteration of all my underwear having been washed with a navy sock. Replacing the whole lot with the wrong size!! how the hell did that happen??. Bridget Jones eat your heart out!!! Driving a 112 mile round trip in an orange storm alert on closed roads. I never heard the warnings and thought the “no traffic” was due to my early start. Mistook a facial tick as a flirting technique and duly responded with my “Pageant” smile to a bewildered guy who asked if I needed help?!!! Took a day trip to Belfast and the Giants Causeway and the foreigners knew more about the places than me(shameful). Laughed till I almost peed, cried with happiness, frustration and tiredness, got angry, snappy and even weird with my kids all in the name of love. Bought clothes that didn’t fit and didn’t return them, shoes that were too tight, accessories I will never use, make-up that I don’t know how to apply, lotions , potions and creams that still haven’t shown any signs of improvements to my skin, hair or other bodily parts, a sure sign of boredom, craziness or both.

So what have you learned from all this I hear you ask.

Well, you will have to follow me and see how I fair out !!!

I recently read an article on ageism in the work place, especially for those of us on the wrong side of 40. It got me thinking so here is  some food for thought too.

In an age where we are all supposed to be politically correct, be accepting of everyone regardless of colour, creed or sexual preference, why is there such a divide when it comes to age??? Employers are overlooking experience and expertise for youth and cheaper labour costs. Being young doesn’t necessarily mean being better at a job, neither does being older mean being unfit or inept to be productive. So why are so many 40+ being overlooked for a younger candidate? Why is it so hard to get a good job just because you are over 40.

It’s not enough anymore  to just  say ” you are over qualified”, we all know what that means. I can understand, to an extent that it can be cost effective to hire younger less experienced staff ,but have employers ever wondered the true cost? The mature employee can bring to the table not only years of experience but a wealth of knowledge and lessons learned from mistakes made in the past, an understanding of people that only comes with age. I am not saying for a moment that employers should choose an older candidate just because of age , on the contrary, they must also be able to bring to the table everything the employer is looking for so that age doesn’t matter.

A friend was recently at an interview for a job, a job he had a lifetime of experience for. He was confident that he had a really good chance of getting the position. In the waiting room there were 2 other candidates  ,  they got chatting about their future. While my friend was interested in working with the company long term and focusing on sharing his skills and making a difference, the two other candidates were looking at this as a stepping stone while waiting for the ”right job ” to come along. All candidates of course are right . It  comes down to what a company is looking for ……cheaper labour costs with a fast turn around of staff, little or no loyalty and the time and energy to keep training new staff , then choose the younger candidate. But, if you want loyalty, experience, staff who will stick with you , drive your business forward, should it matter if they are over 40??

40 is the new 20 lol.

.

 Women are promoted based on their performance.

Men are promoted based on their potential.

Some days I am a domestic goddess other days I am super woman, and today I am super woman.

You know what I mean.  A day that starts great, you wake up after a good sleep, the weather is not too bad, and life is good!!!

Today, is a super woman day, and I can conquer the world. Ok, first things first, every super woman needs a good breakfast to start the day, gives the  fuel to fire on all cylinders.

What to have for breakfast, that decision is easy today, no mulling over this  for me. Other mornings I’m on my second coffee before I decide what to eat….but, not today. Breakfast while watching the World news, a quick shower then I make my list for things to do today. This practise comes from two things:

1. I am a Capricorn, and we are methodical and organised and love achieving even small goals every day, so listing things makes it easy and motivates me  to complete the list however long it is.

2. I have been a hotel manager for more than 12 years and this is  common practise in the industry to have a daily ”to do list”. It also helps to prioritize things on the list and makes it easier and more efficient to manage your time.

List done, I sit back and read over what I have written down and make sure there is nothing I forgot . Sometimes, if I’m feeling more than super or maybe it’s boredom, I put an actual time limit on tasks  and try to achieve them within that time. Is that normal?? are some of you thinking ”hey, I do that too” or are you saying ”looser” hahaha. I actually get a sense of achievement if I can do everything under the time I set myself, I feel like I have accomplished something, yeahhh for me 🙂 little steps I say.

Having worked my entire adult life, I now find myself at loose end , so  I do these small things  to fill some of my  days. Where once I seemed to never have enough time to do my managerial tasks, I now have so much time on my hands I wonder how much work was I doing!!!!

So I turn on my super woman mode, shake of the feeling of defeat the creeps up every now and then, put a smile on my face, look in the mirror and remind myself that the world only has one of me , so I better get on with it.

Out the door to face the world, get my list done , smile and spread my super woman energy to everyone who passes, life is good, it may not be exactly how I want it right now, but, I WILL GET THERE…..after all I am SUPER WOMAN:)

It’s not easy being a goddess. I tell myself that every day!!!   Positive affirmations start the day off in a great way. It gives me a reason to smile …even if it is because I don’t look like a goddess at 7 am in the morning, but at least if I feel like one inside I’m ok 🙂

This morning is a little different from my usual morning routine, not that I have a  USUAL one to start with. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world , other days it takes my 3 hours to decide to have a shower!!!  Today I have a ”to do list”

• Check e-mails and reply to all.
• Check my blog , write down some ideas that have been floating around in my head for a while.
• Drop my daughter to work. Some mornings 7.30 other days it can be 10 or 12
• Go to the gym and at least inquire about classes…….well  it’s a start.
• Look at the job searches. Send  out some more CV’s.
• In between all this have some kind of breakfast, it is the most important meal of the day .
• Put on a wash.
• Watch Loose Women (daily chat show for women) I love it and it makes me think about things but nothing too deep or too heavy.
• Make my bed, tidy the bloody room. How can a room get so messy when there is only me using it???.
• Big decision …..to go or not to go to the library. OMG !!! A while ago a big decision would have been concerning the monthly budget of a hotel.
• What to have for lunch. Another mammoth decision that I have to make every day 🙂
• Pick up my grandson from school.
• Go for a good long walk. Fresh air and all that , keep fit and not feel too guilty about piling on weight. This is on my list everyday , but, I have yet to actually do it.
• Potter around for a while , I am really good at this now, a newly acquired talent.
• Time to drop my grand daughter to her part – time job in the next village.
• On the way back drop into my middle daughter for a cuppa and a chat.
• Back home for a few hours then collect my oldest daughter from work, drop her home.
• Back to mine for a light dinner and make the return journey to get my grand daughter from her job and drop her home.

At last I can put my feet up , it’s 10:30pm.

Positive affirmations……a great way to start and end a hectic day and it’s ok if I didn’t get to do everything. Tomorrow is another day 🙂

My to do list for today

1. Be grateful, for everything big and small.
2. Be kind and mindful, we don’t know what people are going through.
3. Let go of what I can’t control or change.
4. Listen to my intuition.
5. Be productive.
6. Stay calm and smile.
7. Breathe.

Every day I am going to try to do this and add something to it every day:) it’s a lot better than a New years resolution.

Part  3  of  my blog  ”Let’s go Catfishing”

Well everyone,  as I have said when I started this blog I was going to do stuff that I usually wouldn’t even think to do. I had always wondered if these dating sites were all they are cracked up to be …..so I joined one  or two. For a month at first, but then I realised to do a good job on this subject that I should give it time. So I continued the subscription for a further 3 months. Remember, I said I would be the guinea pig for you !!

I am, a natural-born sceptic , so I tend not to believe everything I hear or read. But I decided I would be open and put my trust in this online site , because after all, that’s what everyone does in the hope of finding someone.

But, this is where things get ”iffy” for  me. Firstly when you fill out your profile , you want to come across as someone approachable and reasonably sane. And in return you hope the others are doing the same…….SO (and this is my experience) a guy looks at your profile, winks, puts you on his ”fav list”, sounds good!! But, the guys profile contradicts the photos or it says he’s from Ireland but speaks French/German/ but not English?? His profile says he has short dark hair but the photo is of a grey haired guy!! Not to be  put off, you think maybe a typo error so you reply.

Then after the first few hellos , how are you, I like your profile , comes the ”  are you on WhatsApp/hangout”.  I met one such guy and here is the story of what happened:

The guy was gorgeous, well at least the photos were of a gorgeous guy. Tall, educated and in my age bracket. Tick, tick and tick.

We started off on the site with a few mails about likes and dislikes and a bit of background info about each other. All seemed to be going well, I asked lots of questions as did he and I thought mmmm maybe I am too sceptical for my own good.

Then we exchanged email addresses and after that it got very intense very quickly. He asked if I was still on the site and when I answered ”yes” he got a little peeved , saying he would like if I deleted my profile because he had. I didn’t, and obviously he didn’t check , but I noticed his profile was gone. Within a couple of days I was waking up to romantic good morning songs via WhatsApp and a long message wishing me a good day and telling me how much I was missed!!!

Great if it’s coming from a genuine guy ….but the niggles were coming fast and furious and I was thinking this is too good to be true!! However, having chatted with my girls , they said to keep on, that there were some good guys out there and , after all I hadn’t given this guy a chance, and he could be a really good guy. Every morning and evening I got a message on Whatsapp and a long e-mail, telling me about his day and how much he missed me, how much he was in love with me and that he couldn’t wait to meet me. So on I went , but something was holding me back from being too open and I suppose I didn’t tell all the family secrets but either did he. I started to ask more questions about his life and family and it was like he had forgotten some things he had already said and I noticed some little cracks in what he was saying.

Now , here comes the funny stuff, he took a job as a ”consultant engineer” in Suawa( I think he meant Suva) but kept getting the time difference wrong and must have forgotten about Google and the info you can get about a place, because his description of the island was way different to what google said and showed!! STRIKE ONE.

Then he had to ”buy” pipes for the project because the company asked him to, but they were delayed coming from China……..which subsequently led to the delay in us meeting!!!! how convenient:) STRIKE TWO.

The island was invaded by ”sea pirates” and he was afraid they would get his valuables so he wanted to send them to me:) Unpolished diamonds!!!! Now, given that he had previously said there was nothing on the island it suddenly had a cargo office from where he could send these valuables. But the strangest part of it all was he thought I lived in Austria and said he would be starting a new job in Vienna as soon as the Suva project was finished. Who’s profile had he been mixing me up with hahhahaa.

When I said it wasn’t possible for me to take any kind of package like this I was instantly blocked on everything:) 🙂 !!! Heart broken definitely not, but I can understand how a vulnerable person could be sucked in by the romance of it all, but worse still who could find themselves in trouble by accepting a package from a relative stranger.

Not to be put off I continued, most of the guys from are Ireland……OMG. As an Irish woman I should have known what to expect but I am the ultimate optimist.

I got ”sorry” I can’t put a photo on my profile because:

• I’m a teacher and my students might see it
• Give me your number and I will send one to you privately
• Haven’t got any photos of me on my own…and you might fancy my friend more
• I’m married but just want a bit of fun
• People locally know me and I don’t want anyone knowing I’m on this site
• You might not like what you see.
• If you’re a cougar in a short tight dress I will send you a photo

Jesus wept what’s a woman to do!!!! I’m good but I’m not physic. What happens to men, where are all the confident fellas gone?why go on a dating site if you don’t want to put a photo on your profile, or worse still why put me on your fav list and then don’t send a message??? Am I expecting too much? or am I expected to make the first move and be grateful to get on the fav list and send a message saying so? How can it be so difficult to meet , you have the anonymity of being online. Surely, breaking the ice should be easier online than if it was meeting face to face. Isn’t this supposed to be the easy way to connect with people before you meet and find out if you are suited. OR have I missed brief.

I will continue this seemingly  futile search and keep you posted.

Meanwhile if anyone has any suggestions ………

EGO…………is the anesthesia to deaden the pain of stupidity 🙂