Back to the first blog…..I said I would try things out of my comfort zone and let you know exactly how it is….be the guinea pig for you all and then you go from there.
Last month I signed up for online dating agghhhh!!!! I have never done this before nor have I ever wanted to but, a promise is a promise.
I joined for ”free” but actually that’s just to open your account and make your profile. If you want to see anyone who likes you or sends you a message YOU HAVE TO PAY.
There are lots of deals on offer , monthly, 6 monthly or yearly with discount prices for each one. I just paid for one month ( about 26 €) on the top three sites and filled out the 100 questionnaires all in an effort to be matched with Mr. Perfect or Mr Perfect for me. How much info you give is entirely up to you but don’t under any circumstances give your e-mail address or phone number…then you wait for the ”likes”, winks” and /or mails to come through.
It was less than a day when my accounst started showing winks, favourites, visits and mails, and although I wasn’t too bothered about the results it was nice to see that there were people out there who at least liked the look of me. I must say though that I did wonder what exactly were guys reading into my profile, some of them were very dodgy to say the least.
I can see how for some women and men that this could be quiet an ego boost, especially if you are alone and really looking for someone special. I also understand that under the right circumstances how it could possibly be an outlet for people who are too busy to socialise , too shy, not living near a social setting to meet people , make friends or /and ultimately meet ”the one”.
I should point out that not everyone tells the truth and it can be difficult to know who is and who isn’t, so while your ego is flying high be mindful of if it sounds to good to be true , it usually is. Go with your gut instinct if something doesn’t sound right it probably isn’t. There have been a few on my profile, luckily I realised who they were before it got further than a couple of messages.
Here is my alerts to these ‘CATFISH’, hence the blog title. Catfish by definition is someone who creates a false online identity in the hopes of luring people into a deceptive romance. Police estimate that in Australia 8 million dollars is sent to scammers every month !!! this figure almost triples in the USA. So it is a lucrative business, and not only naïve or socially inexperienced can be caught out, people both men and women for all backgrounds. It’s not about intelligence or rational thinking …it’s about HOPE. When we put ourselves out there , open up we become vulnerable and we stop listening to the rational side of our brain which says ”be careful” and instead the inner voice that says ”I want love” becomes the dominate and louder.
My red alerts are:
- They are usually widowed with 1 child , a teenager.
- They have a good job, military, engineer, or executive.
- They refer to God a lot ie”I’m a god fearing person”.
- They very quickly refer to you as ‘darling’ ‘my love’
- They declare undying love in a very short space of time and ask that you take down your profile to be exclusive.
- They can sometimes contradict what their profile says ie I am looking for someone between 45 and 60 but further on they will say I want kids????
- They won’t show photos or give details of their normal life / daily routine.
- They will always have a crisis mother, brother is ill, needs an operation.
- Need money for an emergency and promise faithfully to pay it back that it is just a loan. Sorry if I have put a damper on things for you. If there is anyone reading this that has had a great relationship via online dating PLEASE PLEASE let us know and renew my faith in people.
There have been a few that were/are really nice ordinary guys and I haven’t decided whether to stay in touch or not when my month subscription expires, but that’s for another blog.
Stay safe x.